Parenting is not for the faint of heart! If that is true, parenting a wide range of ages simultaneously is even more of a feat! While challenges are always present, there is also joy. Let’s dive into some effective parenting tips for children in different age groups.
Benefits and Challenges
- With wider age gaps parents can provide more individual attention
- Possibility of more time and energy
- Decreased competitiveness
- Spread out expenses (braces, childcare, activities, college tuition, etc) over time rather than all at once.
Just as with anything, there can be joys and challenges simultaneously. A few challenges in parenting children in different age groups may be:
- Meeting all developmental needs and interests
- Maintaining routines for each age’s needs
- Facing developmental challenges (i.e., teething, feeding schedules while also getting to after school activities and helping with homework).
Be intentional about teaching each child individually.
Every developmental stage has important experiences that need parents’ focus. The busier the schedule and the more children needing attention, the easier it may be to focus on tasks rather than development. Life isn’t a checklist and it takes time and intentionality to provide the nurturing, supportive experiences that help each child develop in meaningful ways. Likewise, it can become easy to have the older siblings do a chore or job for a younger sibling in the name of being helpful or even saving time. However, this can decrease the amount of confidence and responsibility that the younger sibling develops as he or she learns to depend on their older sibling. At the same time, the older sibling may become overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility he or she is carrying and might possibly resent this role of caregiving.
- Take time to teach and develop the skills of each individual child.
- Choose developmentally appropriate tasks when asking a child to do a chore/ job. Consider the youngest child able to perform the task and who will learn the most by doing it. Also consider how much time you have for teaching at that time.
- Be encouraging and supportive while practicing and teaching responsibility. Afterall, you are teaching.
Being intentional will help you be present for each of your children in the ways that they need you to be. Here as some ways to reframe thinking or directing as you parent:
1. “Help” versus “Play”When asking an older sibling to “help,” consider, instead, phrasing your request in an empowering way such as, “Michael is very interested in your drawing. Do you think you could teach him how to draw that?”
2. Give individual attention in meaningful ways.
Uninterrupted time with each child strengthens your relationship. While it may be easy to focus on a younger child at home, taking an older child on a ride or other outing may be more meaningful and focused.
3. Balance activities.
Channel your inner creativity and find ways to make activities interesting to every age. Who doesn’t love a blanket fort, game, imaginary play, or art project.
Praise playing well together.
4. Give space to be alone and honor independence.
Being alone is important. It helps you develop a sense of confidence, problem solving, and imagination.
No matter how many children you are parenting or their ages, flexibility is always key. Perfection is an illusion and there is no instruction manual for parenting! Think about the goal (toddler needs a nap) and celebrate it no matter how it’s accomplished (even in a car seat while carpooling). Plan a variety of activities for your family that help make sure you are sharing experiences, not just isolating activities; a family hike, beach trip, even going to a theme park can have a little bit of something for everyone.
At BrightStar Care, we proudly provide warm-hearted in-home care for newborns through teenagers. Contact us to learn more about ways we can support you on your parenting journey.