11 Holiday planning tips for family caregivers

11 Tips for managing Holiday visits for families with care recipients.

If family and friends are getting together, these 11 tips will help prepare the visitors so that both the person receiving care at home and the visitors can enjoy a great time. These tips let people know what to expect so that everyone can relax and reduce anxiety.

1. Set and manage time limits

If the family member who is receiving care at home is very frail, easily tired or suffers from conditions like Alzheimer's, we recommend encouraging family and friends to consider limiting the number of people on a given day and managing a schedule that does not exhaust the care recipient. When explained, most friends and family will appreciate the guidance and respect it. This leaves the patient in the home able to enjoy the time with more people.

2. Share information with enough detail (but not too much) about the current condition

We've learned over the years that different family members have different levels of comfort with how much information is shared about specific conditions. Always think first about the patient's level of comfort with sharing information about them. Then consider what the family level of comfort is. It pays to be as open as possible without transgressing the lines of privacy or over-sharing. Knowing what is going on with a family member can help create tighter bonds. But over-sharing can make both the patient and the family members uncomfortable..

3. Plan for unpredictable behavior

We know that some of our clients receiving care can have unpredictable behavior. We train our caregivers to be patient and to anticipate this. Fatigue and medical conditions impose stress. We can all become irritable under pressure. Isn't it fair to expect the same from patients who are coping with medical conditions at home ? We ask our caregivers to give them space. And give them permission to be themselves without judging them.

4. Plan for memory or cognitive problems

Many conditions for people ageing at home or receiving care at home carry the risk of memory or cognitive issues. Anticipating these incidents without judgment can help reduce reactions that cause stress for the care recipient. We train our caregivers to anticipate and prepare for these problems and urge family caregivers or family members for people with these conditions to do the same.

5. Inability to do certain things for themselves does not diminish the individual

Many of our clients receive assistance with Activities of Daily Living (ADLs). These are things that they cannot do for themselves and they may include basic activities like eating and using the restroom. This is an opportunity for caregivers, and particularly family caregivers, to show caring, compassion and love. We ask our caregivers to let family members participate as much or as little as they want in providing assistance to the care recipient when our caregivers are present.

6. Anticipate wheelchairs, walkers and other equipment

Smaller living spaces can represent challenges for family gatherings where equipment like wheelchairs and walkers are present. An individual living at home with a caregiver assisting is used to more space and can generally move around in their wheelchair or with a walker through habit. However, throw in a few more family members visiting for the holidays and suddenly that familiar space needs navigation. Keep this in mind when planning how many visitors can be handled and also how seating is organized - particularly at the dining table.

7. Let visitors know they will need to "introduce" themselves if dementia or memory / cognitive issues are involved

Visitors should be prompted to introduce themselves or find ways to remind who they are and what the relationship is. This avoids embarrassment even if it feels a little strange for close friends and family members to be doing this. If visitors don't have people with dementia or cognitive / memory issues in their own lives, they often have no idea to expect that they will have to reintroduce themselves to the family member.

8. Help steer the conversation

It pays to let visitors, friends and family have some guidance on the level of communication. It is often useful tp provide topics for conversation so that visitors can engage without long, awkward silences. Knowing how to start a conversation on topics that are relevant to the care recipient is a very useful ability.

9. Ask guests to make eye contact

Remind visitors that eye contact increases the level of engagement and urge them to look at your loved one when they speak with them and to talk in a calm manner. The normal patterns of communication don't apply when some conditions like dementia are involved.

10. Ask guests to bring a shared memory

Prompting family and friends who are visiting to share memories or reminisce about the past with your loved one is a great way to help keep the conversation going. Tapping into long term memory is often easier for some conditions where short term memory is affected and can lead to deeper engagement. Discourage arguments about what specifically happened when stories are recounted - these "facts" are less important than the emotional connection from sharing stories.

11. Condition visitors to unusual behavior

Let visitors know ahead of time that the loss of memory or unusual behavior is not intentional and should be handled in stride.

Over the years we've developed these tips on how to plan for the holidays when there is a medical condition or caregiving in the home involved.

We are sharing them with concern and affection for our community of clients receiving care, our caregivers, families and friends who want to make the Holidays an enjoyable time for everyone.

From our family of caregivers, nurses and offce team - to your family and loved ones - Happy Holidays.

Lori Kewalram
CEO / Owner

(Cover Image from Unsplash+)