Care Resistance
As our family members become elderly, care from someone outside the family may become necessary. However, for the elderly, resistance to care is fairly commonplace. Desiring to remain independent for as long as possible, older people want to stay in their own homes, rather than relocating to senior living facilities or other types of care homes. In many cases, this care resistance even extends to home healthcare aides. This can create challenges between older adults and their younger family members, who just want to offer support and don’t know how to help their loved ones without causing conflict. Here, we offer tips for overcoming care resistance so that you can help your older family members get the care they need.Overcoming Elderly Care Resistance
As your loved ones grow older, it’s important to work together in order to solve problems that arise. It can be difficult, though, to avoid being overcome with feelings of resentment, distress, and helplessness. You want to help your loved one get the necessary care, and you won’t be able to do this if your relationship is irreversibly damaged by interpersonal conflict. Try to keep things friendly by following a few simple guidelines.
-
Keep the lines of communication open. It’s important to prioritize your relationship over winning arguments, so work to preserve trust between you and your parents or older loved ones. They need to feel that you are taking their concerns seriously, listening to them without overriding their preferences. Tune in to what they’re not expressing, as well as listening to what they’re saying and recognizing their values and priorities. Be aware that your parents may be afraid of losing their independence and becoming a burden, and they don’t want to give up control over their lives. Make sure to provide a safe space, where your loved ones can talk to you and know you’ll be supportive.
-
Remain patient with your parents. Your parents are likely to have trouble processing the changes in their lives, and they will need time to adjust. Keep your own emotions in check, remaining calm as you talk to them, letting them know that you want them to live the lives they want, not submit to your agenda. If you can stay patient and level, it can prevent escalation of negative feelings and help your parents adjust to their new normal.
-
Be mindful of the changes your parents are experiencing. As your parents grow older, they become more vulnerable, less the authority figures you have always known them to be. Be mindful of this, and let go of unrealistic expectations that are preventing you from connecting with each other. This can help you defuse conflicts, as you accept the people your parents have become, and they learn to accept your help.
-
Respect their independence. No matter what they’re experiencing, your parents will always see themselves as exactly that: your parents. It won’t work to try to make their choices for them or tell them what to do, because that will make them feel like you’re steamrolling them. Respect their autonomy and desire for independence, and acknowledge that they are adults with a right to make decisions for themselves. This doesn’t mean you should always give in, but be tactful, asking for your parents’ opinions and advice, letting go of some of your expectations and giving them room to be themselves.
-
Remember that you’re on the same team. Your parents may need reminding that you are on their side. Let them know that you want what’s best for them and will respect their wishes. Make sure to communicate when everyone is at their best, not tired or angry, and make it known that, while you want your parents to have the independence they desire, they also need to acknowledge their need for assistance. Be respectful, and avoid making decisions for them. Instead, work together to find solutions to problems you are facing.
Trust BrightStar® Care for Help
At BrightStar Care® of Greater Chester County, we offer a wide range of home care and medical staffing services that enrich the quality of life for those who need care from the comfort of their home. We strive to provide the full continuum of care to our community, while keeping our focus on offering a higher standard of care. Proudly serving the Greater Chester County area, we offer our clients and their loved ones the care and support they need, along with the compassion they deserve. Offering unparalleled support for our local healthcare system while providing a variety of high-quality, compassionate care, we work to give our clients the best lives possible while also strengthening the broader community. Contact us through our website or call 610.857.7790, so that we can help you find the right support to fit your unique needs.